DEAR ABBY: I have been married for four weeks. Two weeks after mywedding I met a man who excites me and makes my heart race. Myhusband, "Mitch," and I dated for eight years prior to gettingmarried. We're both 25.
I have only slept with one other man than Mitch in my entire life- someone I cheated on him with for a couple of weeks. Mitch and Ihad dated for two years at that point, and I was only 19. Mitchnever found out.
I have spent two nights with this new man. I think about himconstantly - at work and at night when Mitch is asleep. I can't gethim off my mind, and he feels the same about me. But he tells methat he feels guilty, that what we're doing is wrong and I shouldforget about him.
My relationship with Mitch is boring. We spend a lot of time athome and don't go out much. Mitch goes to bed early, and I'm temptedto leave and go see this other man. What do I do?
Married, but. . .
DEAR MARRIED, BUT ...: I suspect you already know what you needto do. First, level with your husband. Then see if you can have themarriage annulled because, although it has lasted only a month, itis already over.
DEAR ABBY: I have begun dating a man I'll call "Tom." Things seemto be going well. Tom has met my son - they get along beautifully -and we're starting to meet each other's families.
For my son's sake, I have stayed in fairly close contact with myex's parents. They have asked on more than one occasion when theycan meet my new boyfriend, but I haven't given them a straightanswer because, honestly, I don't want them to meet Tom. Since Istarted dating again, I have been trying hard to put my past behindme, and that includes my ex and his family. To do otherwise would bebad for me. What should I do?
Moving on
Duluth
DEAR MOVING ON: If you and Tom become more serious, at some pointhe is going to meet your son's grandparents.
If there is something that you are ashamed of, I think you shouldhave a frank talk with Tom and lay your cards on the table before hefinds out from someone else. Unless there's a court order preventingyour ex from seeing his son, I doubt that you will be able to keepthese two parts of your life completely separate.
DEAR ABBY: My divorce became final two months ago and severalpeople have congratulated me. Abby, the last thing I ever wanted wasto be another divorce statistic, but my ex- husband committed aheinous crime for which he will pay for the rest of his life. WhileI know I'm better off without him, what I would have preferred wasfor the circumstances not to have happened in the first place!
I am trying to get my life back on track, but it isn't easy. Andit doesn't help when some insensitive person offers"congratulations." They don't seem to understand that the subject ispainful. I have said, "Please don't say that," but what else can Isay? Please advise your readers to offer condolences instead.
Unhappily divorced
The East Coast
DEAR DIVORCED: I'm passing your message along. However, whensomeone makes an inappropriate comment, instead of saying, "Pleasedon't say that," try this: "Please don't bring that subject upagain. All it does is make me sad."
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